Matthew 19:1-12
"Marriage in Christ's Kingdom"
I have been encouraging you for 41/2 years now to view your Bibles redemptive-historically. In other words, you must see your Bible as one unified book with a beginning, middle and an ending, each book of the Bible building on the previous book. This means that you cannot approach the Bible like you would Aesop's fables, using Bible stories to come up with moral lessons for life. The story of David and Goliath is not there so you can know how to slay the giants in your life. The Bible is real history with a definite purpose.
You have seen that the theme of the Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is that God is building for himself an eternal kingdom, and that kingdom would be formed through the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ.
In God's unfolding revelation, the kingdom of Israel prefigured the kingdom Christ came to inaugurate. Israel's temple pictured the church, the eternal temple of God. Israel's inheritance, Canaan, pictured heaven, our eternal inheritance. Israel's animal sacrifices pictured the perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ for the sins of his people. Israel's law pictured the righteousness needed to enter Christ's kingdom, that righteousness Christ would himself fulfill on behalf of his people. Israel's law also pictured the inward work of the Spirit as God's new covenant people are conformed into the character of Christ by the Spirit's power.
This rich background must be kept in mind so that when you approach Matthew 19, you do not simply see a treatise on God's law for marriage, standing in isolation to the rest of the Bible.
You must remember the context. Jesus is heading south to Jerusalem to die on the cross in order to establish his kingdom. If you are not convinced that the theme of this section is the kingdom Jesus was about to establish, let me read a few verses surrounding this passage; (Matt 18:2) Unless you become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven; (Matt 18:23) The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king...; (Matt 19:14) Let the little children come unto me... for to such belong the kingdom of heaven; (Matt 19:23) Only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven.
You do not need a seminary degree to discern the theme of Matthew. Christ has come down from heaven to establish his eternal kingdom, and in this section of Matthew he is explaining who gets into his kingdom, and what his kingdom will look like. So how does this passage on marriage and divorce fit into Matthew's theme of the kingdom of God?
The Pharisees were unwitting tools of Satan to thwart Christ from establishing his kingdom. The Pharisees believed they had found a way to discredit Jesus. The Lord had taught that in his kingdom husbands and wives would remain married until death. Divorce would only be allowed in extreme circumstances.
Christ's words on marriage and divorce were in conflict with the Mosaic Law, which allowed a husband to divorce his wife whenever she did anything the husband considered indecent.
The Pharisees set the trap with the question, "according to God's Law, under what circumstances can a husband divorce his wife?" The Pharisees were trying to pit Jesus against Moses.
Ironically, Jesus answers them by citing Moses. Christ does not direct them to the Mosaic Law, but to Genesis 1&2, also written by Moses. In the beginning God revealed his purpose for marriage, that a man and women would become one flesh, and what God had joined together no man should separate.
The Pharisees then ask the obvious question. If that is your view, why does the Mosaic Law give a man the freedom to divorce his wife as long as he gives her a certificate of divorce?
The Lord's answer would have been extremely offensive to the Pharisees. Moses allowed you men to secure easy divorces because of the hardness of your hearts. Because you were so harsh, God was protecting the women of Israel from a life of abuse and sadness, so you were allowed to divorce your wife if you did not want her anymore. But easy divorce was not God's ideal for marriage in the beginning.
The Lord then explains the ethics of marriage in his coming kingdom. The time of Moses is over. That which the Law pictured is about to be fulfilled. The work Christ has come to do in the hearts of sinners will be so dramatic that husbands and wives will be committed to each other all their lives. In my coming kingdom, anyone that divorces his spouse and marries another commits adultery against his former spouse, for in my eyes they will still be married.
The Book of Mark informs us that the disciples raise their objection to Christ's words later when they were alone in the house with Jesus. Their objection is both humorous and sad.
After hearing that Jesus expects husbands and wives to remain married until death, they respond, "if that is the case, it is better not to marry." You women are thinking; that sounds just like a man. This objection reveals the sorry state of marriage in Israel. Obviously the disciples had not seen many happy marriages, so the idea that husbands and wives would be together for life was not a pleasant one.
Jesus agrees with their comment that it is better for some to remain single. Given the sacrifice it takes to commit to a life-long marriage, it is better for some Christians to remain unmarried. Not everyone will be able to remain single for life, only those so gifted.
Those believers gifted to remain single the Bible calls eunuchs. Some are born eunuchs, unable to procreate, some are made eunuchs by war or accidents, and some will choose to be eunuchs to devote themselves to Christ's kingdom. At the end of v. 12 the Lord grants the freedom to marry or not. The one that chooses to remain single may accept this option if he or she desires.
What you are to see here are the monumental changes that occur concerning marriage from the Old Covenant to the New Covenant, from the kingdom of Israel to Christ's kingdom.
First, note that the Mosaic Law could not produce husbands and wives who loved each other so much that they would be committed for life. But Christ came to do through the gospel what the Law could not do. Christ would produce such love in his people that they would commit themselves to one another in lifelong marriages, working through the difficulties, remaining patient and humble with each other, resolving conflicts, serving one another.
This type of love only comes by the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus can heighten the law on marriage because he came to give us his love and character through the gospel, that love and character that remains committed to one another. A picture of that love can be seen by the way Christ forever weds himself to his church.
Sometimes when your children are not getting along, you force them to go into their room and get along, or else. But when your children grow up, you hope that they love each other enough they wouldn't need to be forced to be in the same room.
In Christ's kingdom, in the age of the Spirit, we are now adults. Christian husbands and wives do not stay together only because some law is forcing them to, like children. They stay together because they love each other and are committed to each other, as Christ is committed to us. The Sprit accomplishes what the Law cannot.
You see another change from the Old Covenant to the New in that in the Old Covenant, only men were allowed to file for easy divorce. Women had no such rights. In Christ's kingdom men and women have the same rights of both marriage and divorce. In the Old Covenant the men represented the women to picture Christ's representation of us as our high priest.
Now that the Law has been fulfilled, men and women have equal rights and status in Christ's kingdom.
Thirdly, under the Old Covenant, eunuchs were not allowed to be members of Israel; they were considered unclean. They could not enter the temple area or the temple would be defiled. The physical imperfection of the eunuchs pictured the defilement of sin that kept man apart from God.
But now that Christ has come, eunuchs are considered clean, and Jesus even praises eunuchs for their commitment to his kingdom. The gospel has made the unclean clean, and now those who were once considered outcasts are welcomed into the heavenly assembly.
Finally, in Christ commending the eunuch devoted to his kingdom, Jesus is devaluing the importance of marriage in the New Covenant in relation to the value of his kingdom. To the average Israelite, and to most young people today, the ultimate goal in life is to marry and have children.
But once God has redeemed us, once we have been granted an eternal inheritance and a relationship with Christ, marriage does not have preeminence in our lives. Our relationship to Christ, our desire to be pleasing to him, our goal of being found faithful on that final Day, these become more important to us than marriage and family.
The ultimate reason that we even remain committed to our spouse is not financial, or for the sake of the kids, reasons many unbelievers remain married. The ultimate reason we remain committed to our spouse is because we are committed to serving the Lord Jesus Christ, who saved us through his precious blood.
We must end this morning considering this exception for divorce given by our Lord. Even though the gospel of the kingdom will produce true love and commitment, the kingdom this side of heaven is still tainted with sin, and false believers are within its walls. Because of this the Lord recognizes there will be times divorce is necessary in his kingdom.
The Lord cites sexual immorality as a biblical reason for divorce. Some have suggested the Lord means by sexual immorality, adultery, and anything less than adultery makes divorce sinful. The problem with this view is that there was a perfectly clear word for adultery, but the Lord does not use it. He uses that word at the end of v. 9, but not when listing this exception.
Sexual immorality included all kinds of sexual sins. The Lord is purposefully ambiguous here because he recognizes the devastating effects of all types of sexual sins upon a marriage relationship.
Since the Apostle Paul lists other biblical reasons for divorce, we should not believe the Lord has listed here the only possible exception that allows divorce. The point is that there are some sins so devastating to the marriage that divorce is the lessor of two evils, and thus Christ allows divorce out of compassion for the party that has been so hurt by the sin of the other spouse.
Now do you see the glory of Christ's words on marriage? Beloved, the kingdom of Christ has come. His gospel and Spirit produce in us the kind of commitment and sacrifice Christ demonstrates towards his people. If you still so lack love and commitment to your spouse that your spouse desires divorce, you need the Spirit of Christ in you. God's Spirit will produce in you the love and servant's heart that will cause your spouse to thank God for you.
But to each of you, do not make an idol out of marriage. The kingdom you have been given is so glorious and permanent that it must take precedence over all your earthly relationships, including family. And if you remain single out of devotion to Christ, you are blessed more than you realize. If your spouse dies, or you suffer a divorce, through the grief remember, you are not divorced from Christ, and life does goes on.
So what the Law could not do, Christ has done, by committing himself to you, dying for you and giving you his Holy Spirit. Now love one another with the same commitment, forbearance, patience and sacrifice that Christ has shown to you. Amen